Girl bashing.

Who hasn’t learned the Golden Rule?

Do onto others as you would have them do onto you.

This seems simple enough. In our culture where girls are competitive with other girls, and movies like mean girls are popular, along with songs like “hey, hey, you, you I don’t like your girlfriend” It would seem as if we never learned the “Golden Rule” in grade school.

Growing up I had very few girl friends, which I attributed to the fact that I thought most girls were bitches. I threw around words like “skank” and “slut” to girls who had the audacity to talk to the guy I was talking to.  As I got older, i began to notice that all of this girl bashing stemmed from insecurities. That I wasn’t pretty, thin, or wanted enough or that I was too wild, too weird, or too loud.

So I propose our first rule to radical self love- Love other ladies.

Because if you think about it, it makes perfect sense, in a society that makes it seem like we have to fight each other for attention, girls who are secure in themselves don’t have the time to start cat fights over other girls.

So let’s stop.

Let’s never use the word slut again- after all you don’t hear boys ripping on their guy friends for sleeping with whoever they want to.  Don’t perpetuate the double standard.

Lets not behave as if we are in a race with other ladies- in school, work, or any other aspect of our lives lets stop looking at other women as competition and start looking at them as allies, even if those women dont have you same, moral, political, social, or fashion standards. It seems pretty basic, but try it, it’s not as easy as it sounds.

Lets agree that when we see a woman hammered when we are out we wont comment on how she looks, but keep an eye on her drinks and how she gets home.- because we have all been there and being judgmental causes wrinkles, I say we look out for each other because that’s just good karma.

Let’s agree that that girl, the one that really gets under your skin doesn’t have to bring you down- just because she plays the competition game doesn’t mean you have to. Even if she flirts with your husband and insults your parenting, realize that you like yourself too much to let what she says bring you down. You don’t have to like her- but don’t bash her to other people. It’s not cute. Instead focus on all the things you are doing with your life that make you awesome and surround yourself with women who do the same.

Don’t be too prideful to lend or accept help- a lot of times we hide all our insecurities because we don’t want people to know we aren’t perfect, or we won’t help others when we can because we don’t want to let go of the leverage we feel we have. Give compliments and encouragement to other ladies, if you’re good at something-help. If you’re struggling- ask for help. This is how we connect with people and it’s a great way to be encouraging not discouraging to other ladies. No one is perfect and it’s silly to try to appear like it.

Don’t let a boy be the reason you fight- if I look back half of my female feuds have been because of a boy. How stupid. Let’s just agree that if we are fighting over a boy, we should consider it a loss and keep a friend before a fling. Guys have this down so much it’s become “boy code” bros before hoes... well chicks before dicks. I am not talking about legit marriage issues here just to be clear, I am talking about the kind of fights and jealousy that spurs because of male (or any other) attention.  When I was younger I was jealous of my friend Cherish because she had curly hair, was tall like a model and had “cherry” as a cute nickname and whenever we would go out guys would say "cherry  is so tall!" and I was 5'2" so I wasnt going to be a model any time soon. Don’t let things like that come between friends. Ask yourself why things really bother you and sometimes you will be surprised at how silly it is. And girls who know how kick ass they are don’t have time to be jealous over silly things.

And lastly and my most hated form of girl bashing

Don’t talk shit about a girl because of her appearance! It’s hard enough for all of us to like ourselves and nobody has any room to throw insults about weight, clothing, or anything else. A girl who loves herself doesn’t need to belittle someone else because of the way they look. It’s not at all attractive and you’ll find it harder to love your own flaws when you are judging everyone else for theirs. Not to mention that some of the greatest woman in history have been ugly. Looks aren’t everything so STFU about them if you don’t have something nice to say!

So feel free to leave comments that add too the rules for Revolutionary no girl bashing!

Compliment the women in your life!

Love and lollipops.