I have realized being a 'women and genders study' minor that I have started to see the world through pink and blue lenses.
I watch what boys do and what girls do and how we classify what is socially acceptable for each group to do. for instance if I farted while I was sitting on the couch with my hands down my pants my mom would tell me I was not being very lady-like and make a slew of disgruntled noises. Yet, having plenty of guy-friends, I am a spectator to this sort of behavior on regular basis.
Shaundria was telling me she overheard a boy on the train this week talking with his (ex)girlfriend on the phone about how to work on their relationship. It really is amazing what people will say on the phone in public spaces with out thinking that people can hear them. Anyway he ended the conversation with “I love you so much, and we will work this out, I have to let you go or I am going to cry on the train”
When Shaun told me that I thought back to last year when I would have loud and aggressive fights on the phone on the train (because I am one of those people who yells into my phone with out thinking about how the person next to me can hear me) I would cry my eyes out on the train and listen to death cab for cutie and feel like all of my dysfunctions were life shattering problems and not just a part of being in my twenties.
I wondered what it would have looked like if that guy had cried on the train.
Because its not really that socially acceptable for men to cry and yell “I hate you” into a phone in a public place. And while I may have been obnoxious the many times I found myself doing just that, no one would have thought I was less of a woman.
I think the statement “there are only two kinds of people in this world” is a really lame and unrealistic way to start any thought, and yet we do this daily. There are only two kinds of people in this world “men and women.” And I find myself wondering about the social constructions behind those words and if any of us are really all or none of those ideas.
I have a student cry every semester during final presentations. I tell my students that one of them will cry. Then I let them know, the first time I had a student cry during presentations, it was a guy...they are shocked...guys aren't aloud to be nervous during public speeches?
ReplyDeleteawwww lee Anne! that's so sad! public speaking doesn't bother me at all so this breaks my heart! they say people fear public speaking before death haha! and Guys should totally be allowed to cry over public speaking, I have cried for much less. haha.
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