Answers with Alicia 5.18

And now it's time for Answers from Alicia! the part of the blog where I make-up take questions and then answer them with my vast amount of wisdom and knowledge.

This week's question is:

Dear Alicia-

I am in high school and people call me a slut because, I try to ignore it but it makes me feel small and dirty.  Should I ignore it or confront people on it?

Sincerely

scathed in Schenectady  

Dear scathed in Schenectady ,

here is the deal. There is no such thing as a slut in my opinion. It's a made up word to shame women for their sexuality. Think about how many words you know for boys that are sex-positive. Pimp, Casanova, ladies man, champ, stud. All of these words elude to the fact that  boys and their sexuality is praised, but girls and their sexuality is something to be feared and shamed.  There isn't a word for boys like: slut, whore, or skank and so my first proposal is that as girls we throw these words out of our vocabulary. They don't exist. Because if boys are praised for their prowess the last thing we need to do is bring down other women for theirs. I was one of those girls in high school who had barely kissed a boy but somehow got labeled a slut, which I think had more to do with my attitude then my sexual experience which was none, and that label stuck with me most of my life and made me afraid of my sexuality for fear of looking like a "dirty- girl." I have made it a point to never put down other women no matter what their life choices are because it only perpetuates that old Idea that girls are sluts and boys are studs.  not to say that you shouldn't have standards or convictions when it comes to sex and your body, on the contrary being in control of your own sexuality means you decide when and what YOU are ok with.  it's just not fare to slut-shame other women  even if you don't agree with them. so my advice would be to hold your head high and find people who are loyal friends that  base their opinion on who you are not on what you do or don't do behind closed doors. and most importantly don't continue the cycle, remove all girl shaming words from your vocabulary and be revolutionary enough to encourage other women to love themselves and their bodies.